(Source: bonnarpetit, via nolongeramystery)

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(616): I’m going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.

(616): Already at 3 and it’s not even noon.

(Source: textsfromhistory)

(Source: nolongeramystery)

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(Source: textsfromhistory, via nolongeramystery)

[x]

(Source: bonnarpetit, via lifetime-of-scars)

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(+61): I’m looking forward to the release of my future best seller - “Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs”

(Source: textsfromhistory)

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(401): You’re just horny.

(1-401): Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

(Source: textsfromhistory, via therealbduh)

Favourite Horrible Histories Sketches/Songs (s1) → Alexander the Great (x)

“I am the greatest military commander that ever lived. I have conquered the known world, and I am barely 26 years old. Perhaps when you found your own city you can name it after yourself… you could call it, hmm, Skinnymandria? But since I’m founding them, I’d like to call it Alexandria. Okay?”

(via therealbduh)

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(347): It’s official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We’re tasting the fucking rainbow.

(Source: textsfromhistory)

(Source: nolongeramystery, via lifetime-of-scars)